Thursday, 27 August 2009

Demitri the lover

Im no feminist but surely this guy just doesnt have his head in the right place, ok i know guys like to screw around etc and not exactly treat women right but this guy? He's on a totally new level of bringing the word religion and slut in the same sentence....

VIRGIN SACRIFICE FOR WORLD PEACE

TORONTO – September 11 – To thwart the “New World Order” media blackout against GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul, on the winter solstice, a sacred day for pagans, Toronto will play host to the first ever “Virgin Sacrifice for World Peace”, organized by The Church of Dimitri of Latter Day Sluts.


“I will personally deflower 7 virgins, each representing one of the sacred seals of The New Testament’s Book of Revelations. The breaking of the 7th hymen will release enough energy to breach the time-space continuum, and overpower the blackout”, said Dimitri The Lover, otherwise known as “The Prophet” by members of his faith.


The Church of Dimitri of Latter Day Sluts is based on the belief that The Prophet pelvic-thrusted a slut so hard that his penis accelerated back in time and impregnated the Virgin Mary. Since it is widely accepted that Jesus is the son of God, The Prophet therefore asserts that he is God. He also asserts that the Greeks are God’s “chosen people”.


“We support The Prophet on his quest to rid the world of war”, said Jasmine C., a 21 year old philosophy student and proud member of The Church of Dimitri of Latter Day Sluts. “Being a slut since my early teens, I am disqualified from the Virgin Sacrifice, but I entered my gorgeous 18 year old sister. She’s a shy bookworm, but a great kisser. I wanted her first time to be special. Nothing is more special than being popped by The Prophet!” When asked how Jasmine knew her sister was a “great kisser”, she blushed, winked, and politely asked that her surname be withheld.


Event proceeds will be directed toward building the world’s largest rotating double headed dildo, to be presented to the American people for the express purpose of simultaneously silencing both Hillary Clinton and Ann Coulter. Attendees will also be asked to sign a petition to repeal Canada Criminal Code Section 296, in that it violates The Prophet’s free speech rights. The petition will be presented to the hottest bible-thumping hunk in parliament, Stockwell Day.


The evening also features a sneak peek of Dimitri The Lover’s upcoming book, Mein Kock, an anti-metrosexual forum, highlighted by the burning of a metrosexual effigy, and a discussion of Dimitri The Lover’s controversial seduction program, “Women Worship You”.


WHEN: Friday December 21, 2007, 8PM
WHERE: TBA
For more information, contact by e-mail at: virgin@dimitrithelover.com
www.churchofdimitri.com


Some more links
http://www.dimitrithelover.com/press11sep07.htm

Monday, 13 July 2009

Shockwaves

Its the start of the boarding season this week. Starting to prepare, getting some hardcore practice in before that 4 hour drive to the centre, you'd think I'd have it pretty well panned out. Unfortunately not, I decided to go to the woods up my road to play around in as it's my first time out in about a month, it was chilly. Buff up, check pads, feet in, straps in, quick glance down the hill and Bang! drop in and start riding. Its a bit sketchy, some corners and possibilities of dog walkers but it makes it more exciting. I see a little verge, i go to ride up it catching my truck on a root pointing upwards, turns me to the side, I'm airborne off my board, right foot down, bends, wrists down and face in dirt. I lay there pumping with adrenaline still smiling, heart rushing. I stand up, left foot, then right foot. Shit. The pains pretty immense and travels straight up my right side of my body. The smiles gone as the thought of doing well at the weekends competition goes to. Hopefully it's just muscle, I'm sticking it out till I cant take any more, then I may get it checked out. Never giving up xxx

Friday, 12 June 2009

Mr Frank

My dad received a nice letter from his late godfather, informing him of the £35,000 that he had left for us. First thoughts are... 'wow thats a shit load of money!' but the excitement confuses me. I understand that it'd a nice relief that my parents are paying off their mortgage, but at the same time they're getting excited because someone close to our family is no longer around to spend that money. Mum just flat out asked me if I wanted any of it to buy anything with, as much as I'm struggling to keep myself afloat at the moment with shortage of hours I refused. I cant figure why, I just don't want it, i'd spend it and feel guilty. Mums sat there yapping away about it. I'm thankful to Frank don't get me wrong, my parents will be living happily with the mortgage paid off, but i'd rather have Frank around than £35,000 xXx r.i.p

Monday, 23 March 2009

Looking back to the future

So it's starting to warm up here now, ever so slightly turning into the summers we all love. We've been two years without a decent summer time though so fingers crossed we can keep the rain away this year. Last summer was pretty good. I was hanging out with some awesome people this time last year but due to break ups and fall outs I rarely see them anymore. We had amazing adventures to dubs in the park, sand down volks world show and attending the no-rice meets in guilford every month. One of the guys I used to go to no-rice with, Tim, is currently on the otherside of the world with his best mate Pete. They're going to be meeting up with Robyn (Tim's lady) and Elder (my best mate) so the next few months are going to be a bit bare. Nobody to go to the volswagen shows with and no little one to enjoy my days off with! Dont get me wrong my friends i've made in the past few months have been fantastic to me and I wouldnt change them for the world. But at the same time I wouldnt have changed last year for the world either. Shame the world just changed it for me.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Weekend Rain

I went away to Plymouth at the weekend to just chill out a bit, met my gorgeous new cousin Conor. He's 22 days old today and is the sweetest thing i've ever seen I love him so much. Scott (his father, my cousin) doesnt seem old enough to have a little one yet, only seems like yesterday when I was the one they were looking after. But Scott and Philippa are going to be amazing parents. On saturday my other cousin Lee brought his kids down with Ria, Liam is running around on his feet now and Macey is soooo tall!!! So had a four hour trip home the next day and came to Bracknell to see Brad play in his band Mia Hope, they've got we'll good now you should check them out www.myspace.com/miahope
So I've got to get my room ready for my new furniture coming tomorrow, should be good but shed loads of effort.

Wednesday, 4 March 2009